


Sleep With Fists Closed

by thewriterofperfectdisasters



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, M/M, Tags to be added, aka bucky is an actor and steve works in a book store, i dont know i just needed this ok, post serum steve, semi-Notting Hill AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6167392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterofperfectdisasters/pseuds/thewriterofperfectdisasters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course Steve knew who James Barnes was. He might’ve been the sort of person more likely to pick up a sketchpad than turn on the TV, but that didn’t mean he lived under a rock.<br/>It might’ve, however, appeared that way to James Barnes. Who was currently wandering around the bookshop Steve called his workplace.</p><p>aka, steve works in a bookshop and blogs about his fave, james barnes, bucky is an actor hiding more than one thing from everyone who cares, and eventually steve turns to fanart because he has some excellent references and everyone who cares about <i>that</i> wants to know where he got them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Adventure of the Flying Rogue Smoothie

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends i am here. this is (so far?) un-beta'ed so all mistakes are my own. tags will be added and rating will inevitably change as stuff happens, so watch out for that. btw, it's currently 2:30am so i'm expecting there to be mistakes i've missed in here... i'll check tomorrow. 
> 
> title is from _Deathless_ by Catherynne M. Valente, aka a book i am shamelessly plugging every chance i get bc it is incredible and you should all read it.
> 
> you can find me [here](http://uhtredthepagan.tumblr.com) on tumblr.

Of course Steve knew who James Barnes was. He might’ve been the sort of person more likely to pick up a sketchpad than turn on the TV, but that didn’t mean he lived under a rock.

It might’ve, however, appeared that way to James Barnes. Who was currently wandering around the bookshop Steve called his workplace. Steve was just slightly shocked to see him there was all. They didn’t really get a lot of foot traffic in their store, and most of their income came from their website, so an actual _person_ in store was strange enough, but the current media sweetheart? That was just… bizarre.

So yeah, Steve was a bit caught up in processing all of that, so he didn’t really have time to acknowledge that the subject of his wet dreams (and blog) was approximately three feet away, watching him expectantly.

‘Sorry, what?’ Steve asked, sliding the book he was holding onto the shelf. Not in the right place, of course. If James Barnes noticed him sliding a cookbook into the middle of the Game of Thrones series, he was polite enough not to point it out.

‘I didn’t say anything,’ James Barnes replied.

 _God, his voice was like sliding naked into silk sheets._ (Steve assumed – he could barely afford pencils, much less silk sheets.) ‘Oh. Can I help you with anything, then?’

‘Yeah, I’m looking for something to read on my flight tomorrow. Any suggestions?’

Steve opened his arms, as if to gesture to the entirety of the shop. ‘Want to narrow down the search?’ _Oh, Jesus, don’t snark the celebrity, Steve._

‘Uh…’ James Barnes rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully, straining the already stupidly tight Henley he was wearing. ‘I like non-fiction. Military stuff is interesting.’

‘Okay,’ Steve turned on his heel and walked swiftly off to the non-fiction section, hoping that James Barnes got the idea to follow him. As Steve stopped at the shelf he was after, he noted that he had indeed been followed. ‘We’ve got some books on the Vietnam War, a few on the Second World War… _The Monuments Men_ is quite good, if you’re not really into the battle side of things.’

‘I saw the movie,’ James Barnes said, scanning the shelf and picking one off at random. ‘How about this?’

Steve nodded. ‘I’m more into fiction, but that one is pretty interesting.’

‘Fiction, huh? What would you recommend, then?’

Steve narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he headed towards the fiction section. ‘Thought you were a non-fiction guy?’

‘I like to have options.’

‘Right,’ Steve nodded understandingly and quickly pulled a book of the shelf, knowing exactly what he was after. ‘This is one of my favourites at the moment.’

‘ _Deathless_?’ James Barnes turned it over to read the back. ‘What’s it about?’

‘It’s based off a Russian fairytale,’ Steve explained. ‘Marya Morevna and –’

‘Koschei the Deathless,’ James Barnes looked up at him from the back of the book. ‘I’m familiar with the story.’

‘Well, this version is better,’ Steve shrugged.

James Barnes hummed and flipped briefly through the book. ‘Okay, I’ll take your word for it, even though it was my mother who told me the story originally, so I’m not sure anything could beat her version.’

‘I think it’ll give her a run for her money,’ Steve smiled. ‘Was there anything else I could help you with?’

‘No, I think I’ll just browse around. Thanks for your help with these,’ James Barnes said, holding up the two books and heading towards the back of the store to the travel books.

‘You’re welcome,’ Steve muttered, heading back to the box of cookbooks he had been placing on the shelves.

Steve was acutely aware of James Barnes moving throughout the store, despite how stealthy he was clearly trying to be. His shoes didn’t make a sound as he walked, and the only sign he had actually _moved_ came from the sound of books being flipped open and slid back into their places in different areas of the store, but Steve knew. This store was like an extension of himself, and it was like James Barnes was walking across his skin.

After about ten minutes of listening to James Barnes move around, the man himself appeared from the shelves and started heading for the counter, so Steve started up there and met him as he put his books on the bench.

‘You should probably not flick to midway through books before you read them. You’ll almost always end up reading a bit of vital information and partially spoil the plot for yourself in a really confusing way,’ Steve said, noting that James Barnes had added one of the Lonely Planet guides to New Zealand to his stack of books. ‘Heading down under?’

James Barnes gave a small, rueful smile. ‘In a few months, yeah.’

‘Sounds exciting.’

‘You been?’

‘Me?’ Steve rolled his eyes as he finished scanning the other two books and put them into a paper bag. ‘I can barely afford to get around _here_. Can’t exactly afford to head to the other side of the world.’

‘Sucks, man,’ James Barnes murmured, handing over the cash to pay. ‘Definitely one for the bucket list.’

‘Yep, I’ve heard,’ Steve replied, handing back his change. ‘I hope you enjoy _Deathless_. I’ll be personally offended if you don’t.’

‘Ah, and we wouldn’t want that,’ James Barnes grinned. ‘Thanks for your help…’

‘Steve.’

‘Steve,’ James Barnes repeated, nodding slightly to himself. ‘I’ll let you get back to your Westerosi cookbooks.’

 _So he had noticed._ ‘Yeah… thanks.’

James Barnes winked as he slid the sunglasses in his hair down over his eyes. ‘I’ll see you around, Steve.’

Steve blinked and watched James Barnes turn and exit the shop. He was still gazing after the long-since-gone actor, when Sam, his colleague and sidekick, came in with a coffee tray in one hand and a paper bag in the other.

‘You okay there?’ Sam asked, placing the bag on the counter and taking a coffee out of the tray to give to Steve. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’

Steve opened and closed his mouth, slightly lost for words, before he blinked himself out of his stupor and faced Sam, taking the outstretched coffee and sipping it absently. ‘You’ll never believe who was just in here.’

 

* * *

 

Honestly, all Steve wanted was a sandwich.

There was a deli down the street that made the _best_ sandwiches, and after his confusing encounter with James Barnes earlier in the day – Steve had so little human interaction these days, he couldn’t tell if he had been flirted with, or if James Barnes was just a nice guy and absolutely comfortable with everyone he met – all Steve wanted was a damn _sandwich_.

So he got his sandwich. Then he just _had_ to tempt fate by buying a fucking smoothie, didn’t he? Someone in the range of a higher power apparently had it in for him, because Steve rounded the corner of the deli’s door, and walked directly into none other than James motherfucking Barnes.

‘Jesus _shit_!’ James Barnes hissed, holding up his three bags of shopping in one hand and lifting his sunglasses with the other.

‘My smoothie!’ Steve gasped, quickly realising how rude that probably was, because he had just _spilled_ his _entire smoothie_ down someone else’s shirt. ‘I mean, I’m so sorry!’

‘I’m covered in – what the hell is this?!’ James Barnes asked, looking up from his once-white-now-green shirt to Steve, recognition dawning and sliding a hint of anger into his expression.

‘It’s kale, cucumber, and apple with spirulina!’ Steve replied, his voice going up an octave. ‘I paid extra for the spirulina!’

‘Well that’s just super!’

‘It was like seven bucks!’ Steve continued, lamenting his smoothie. ‘I can’t afford new socks now!’

‘I’m sorry,’ James Barnes interrupted, staring incredulously at Steve, and gesturing at himself with his sunglasses. ‘Are you missing the part that I am now _wearing_ your seven dollar smoothie?!’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Steve said, taking in how very green James Barnes now was. ‘My apartment is like three minutes away, I can totally take you there and you can clean up and – I’m _really_ sorry but that smoothie was literally half of my money, I’m in mourning.’

James Barnes frowned at him and pushed his sunglasses back into his hair to get it out of his eyes. ‘You can wring it from my shirt into a glass if it bothers you that much.’

‘I’m politely going to decline, but really, you can come clean up at my apartment. I think it’s the least I can offer.’

The frown softened slightly, and James Barnes looked between his shirt and Steve’s genuinely apologetic face. ‘How far away?’

‘Like three minutes walking, just the next street over.’

James Barnes sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, I suppose. Lead the way.’

 

* * *

 

Steve tried to walk as quickly as he could towards his apartment. He could tell James Barnes was unlikely to make conversation, or do anything to lighten the awkward tension between them, and also because he got the distinct impression James Barnes was pissed off about being covered in smoothie and would like to… well. That he’d like to _not_ be covered in smoothie.

As they reached the door to Steve’s house, he pulled out his keys and quickly put it in the door to open into the stairwell. ‘Top of the stairs, door on the right.’

James Barnes nodded and stepped in past Steve to make his way up the stairs.

Steve followed him up, and put his key in the door as fast as he could, trying to avoid James Barnes seeing his apartment key custom printed with tiny cartoon ducks. He swung the door open and gestured inside and towards the hallway. ‘Second door on the left is the bathroom.’

‘Thanks,’ James Barnes muttered, thankfully not seeming to stop to take in the utter clusterfuck of a mess that was Steve and Sam’s living room.

Steve decided to take advantage of James Barnes now being in his bathroom to speed-tidy the living and dining area. Steve was usually a person who would take time to put everything back in their proper places and make the space neat, but in this instance, he took a bit more of a Sam-esque approach. Everything was gathered into piles and either hidden under blankets from the back of the couch, or tossed beneath other items of furniture.

‘That was my favourite shirt, you know,’ James Barnes said from the door to the hallway, now wearing a soft looking flannel shirt.

‘I really can’t apologise enough,’ Steve said, trying to subtly drop the magazine he was holding onto the coffee table.

‘You don’t have to tidy for me,’ James Barnes said, flicking his eyes pointedly to a lumpy pile of crap in Steve’s favourite armchair, artfully hidden under a hideous, paisley, faux-mink blanket. ‘It’s nice to be somewhere that looks lived in for once.’

‘Oh. Um,’ Steve blinked. ‘Alright. Do you want a drink? Tea? Coffee?’

‘No, I’m good.’

‘Do you want a snack or something?’ Steve continued awkwardly, unable to stop himself. His mother always told him to offer guests a drink. She never said anything about snacks, but it must’ve been Steve’s stomach taking over for a moment there.

‘I’m fine, thanks.’

‘Right. Uh, well, I am very, _very_ sorry about my smoothie ruining your favourite shirt, James. Mister Barnes. Mister James Barnes. I’m sorry.’ _Shut the fuck up!_ ‘So sorry.’

‘Just James is fine,’ James said, verging on looking amused at Steve’s brain malfunction.

‘James.’

‘Yeah,’ he nodded. ‘You’re Steve, right?’

‘Yep, yep, Steve is me. Steve I am.’ _Oh God, just don’t talk._

‘Well, Steve, I should be going. Thank you for the use of your bathroom.’

‘You’re fine.’ _That’s not what you’re supposed to say._ ‘Great, you’re great. And welcome. You’re welcome.’ _Excellent cover, nice work, Steve._

James smiled and slipped his sunglasses back over his eyes as he skirted around Steve’s couch and headed to the door. ‘Have a great day, Steve.’

‘I’ll try, thank you,’ Steve replied, silently thanking God that his mouth and brain were finally cooperating. ‘I truly am so sorry about the shirt.’

‘It’s okay, really,’ James shrugged and opened the door. ‘I’ll see you around, Steve.’

‘I’ll be here,’ Steve replied, as James left, clicking shut the front door behind himself. Steve let out a breath he had apparently been holding and slumped onto his couch. ‘Fuck, that was stressful.’

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Steve noticed something as he was doing his daily browse through the internet. Apparently someone had taken pictures of James leaving his house (how?) and now there was a lot of speculation about who James Barnes had been seeing – a secret girlfriend, perhaps? The internet would be sorely disappointed, because the only people who lived up that staircase were Steve and Sam, and the weird Russian siblings who lived in the other apartment. They seemed friendly enough, but Steve had never actually seen them with other people.

So unless the internet knew something about James Barnes that Steve didn’t (even though he considered himself a citizen of the internet) then James Barnes had not found himself a secret girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Couldn’t be too careful, of course, even though there was nothing to suggest James Barnes was anything but completely straight. That always seemed to be the way, though, didn’t it?

In any case, no one on either side of Steve’s stairwell was dating James Barnes.

It was a fact that Steve spent a lot of his free time lamenting.

 

* * *

 

‘I need another book.’

Steve looked up from the shelf he had been reorganising to see James Barnes standing in front of him. ‘Why? It’s been two days since you were here last.’

‘“Why?” Are you questioning a customer’s motive?’ James asked, a smile threatening to break across his lips.

‘Just curious,’ Steve shrugged. ‘Did you finish _Deathless_ already?’

‘I did,’ James nodded. ‘You were right, by the way. This version of Marya and Koschei is better than anything I’ve heard before.’

Steve grinned triumphantly. ‘Great! You’re still in my good books, then.’

‘I was wondering if you could give me any other recommendations? I was meant to read _Deathless_ on my flight but I had to stay here a couple extra days and ended up reading it cover to cover.’

‘Have you read any classics?’ Steve asked. ‘ _Lord of the Rings_ , for example?’

‘I haven’t, no.’

‘Perfect!’ Steve went to the shelf over and pulled down a hardcover _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy tome. ‘You’re set.’

‘You didn’t ask if I actually want to read it,’ James raised an eyebrow and seemed to unwittingly flex the fingers of his left hand.

The movement distracted Steve and he noticed the glove on his hand. Must’ve been one of those _actor’s quirks_. James Barnes was never seen without a glove on that hand, lest he be in an actual film. ‘Well,’ Steve replied, disregarding the movement of James’ hand. ‘You do, so. Problem solved.’

‘Oh, naturally,’ James rolled his eyes. ‘Okay then. Ring me up.’

Steve meant to say something like, _“Sure, we’ll just go over to the counter.”_ But instead, his mouth fell open and out fell the words, ‘I would, but I don’t have your number.’

James barked a surprised laugh. ‘Smooth.’

‘I try.’ Steve walked over to the counter, ducking his head slightly to hide his blush, and scanned the book. ‘I, uh, I’m still really sorry about the other day… with my drink.’

‘It’s fine, really,’ James said, handing over some cash to pay. ‘My sister had been nagging me to get rid of that shirt for a while anyway. Said it was older than my niece and I shouldn’t own clothes older than her.’

‘How old is your niece?’

‘Not sure,’ James mused. ‘She’s like a year or two.’

‘That’s not too bad. I’m pretty sure my toothbrush is older than that,’ Steve said, handing back his change and slipping the book into a bag.

‘That’s terrible dental hygiene and you should be ashamed,’ James said seriously, though the glint in his eye clued Steve into the fact that he was teasing him. ‘I’m a hypocrite, actually. Mine probably is, too.’

‘We both have terrible dental hygiene, then.’

‘It would seem so. Thanks for this,’ James said, taking the bag with his book off the counter. ‘I’ll let you know how it goes.’

‘I hope you do,’ Steve smiled. ‘Maybe you should tweet me or something.’

‘Maybe,’ James laughed. ‘I should be going. Don’t want to have this shirt ruined by a flying, rogue smoothie as well.’

‘Don’t worry, I can’t afford another smoothie,’ Steve said, somewhat glumly. ‘Enjoy the book, James.’

‘I will, Steve. See you around,’ James winked, turning and exiting the store, leaving nothing but the twinkle of the bells above the door in his wake.

 

* * *

 

**_Steve:_ ** _what does it mean when someone says “see you around” twice in a few days_

**_Steve:_ ** _does that mean “see you around” or “bye”_

**_Falcon Man Sam:_ ** _depends who said it_

**_Steve:_ ** _uhhhhh a boy??_

**_Falcon Man Sam:_ ** _yeah idk you’re on your own_

**_Steve:_ ** _remind me why i keep you_

**_Falcon Man Sam:_ ** _bc rent is expensive_

 

* * *

 

Out of everything Steve could’ve expected to see when he got back to his apartment later that day, at the bottom of the list was James Barnes engaged in a conversation in fluent Russian with his neighbour outside his door.

Steve raised his eyebrow as he approached and came to stop at the top of the stairs. ‘Hey,’ he greeted, still very much unsure of what was going on.

‘Hey,’ James smiled. He said something in Russian to Wanda, Steve’s neighbour, which he received a gentle laugh for. ‘We’re just talking about you.’

‘Oh…’ Steve blinked. ‘Okay?’ he opened his door and dithered in the doorway for a moment. ‘Are you here to chat up my neighbour, or..?’

‘No, I’m here to see you.’

‘Oh,’ Steve repeated, much more surprise in his tone now. ‘Do you want to come in?’

‘Yeah, thanks,’ James turned back to Wanda. ‘Увидимся.’

‘Да, видеть вас,’ Wanda grinned, ducking inside her own apartment.

‘So…’ Steve started, as James entered his (now cleaner and tidier) apartment. ‘What’s up?’

‘I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a drink or something.’

Steve’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open of its own accord. (It seemed to be doing that a lot, lately.) ‘With you?’

‘No, Wanda asked me to ask you,’ James rolled his eyes. ‘ _Yes_ , with me.’

‘Oh, um…’ Steve blinked. _Come on, James Barnes just asked you out!_ ‘Like… as friends? Or?’

‘I could do as friends,’ James shrugged, trying to cover up the underlying nervousness Steve was feeling coming from him. ‘I was hoping for more, but I’ll take it.’

‘Wait, you want to date me?’ Steve asked, his voice pitching higher with every word. ‘Me date you?’

‘If you want.’

‘Hell yeah, I want!’ Steve cringed slightly at his enthusiasm. _Calm the fuck down, Steve._

‘Great,’ James grinned, relaxing now that he knew Steve was interested. ‘I’ll pick you up at eight?’

‘Wait, tonight?’

‘Is that a problem?’

‘Well, I have my friend’s birthday dinner thing tonight…’ Steve trailed off. ‘You could come, I’m sure. There’s always plenty to go around, and if it wastes Tony’s money, then it’s an agreed thing that we should.’

James laughed. ‘Yeah, sounds fun. Maybe I’ll just be here at eight, and we can go together, then?’

Steve nodded. ‘Sounds good, James.’

‘If we’re going to date or whatever, you can call me Bucky.’

‘Bucky,’ Steve repeated. _He had broached the inner sanctum._ ‘Yeah, cool. Bucky.’

‘Okay, Steve,’ Bucky grinned. ‘I should go. Again. I’ll be here at eight.’

‘I look forward to it.’

‘Me too,’ Bucky said, slipping out the front door, leaving Steve to ponder on how things in his life had somehow managed to go so completely right for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up that i cbf time stamping texts or whatever, so weird names are contact names, regular ones are the POV character. (e.g. "falcon man sam")
> 
> translations: (if they're wrong, please let me know omg.)  
> Увидимся (Uvidimsya) = see you.  
> Да, видеть вас (Da , videt' vas) = yeah/yes, see you.


	2. Bucky Barnes, Dude from Brooklyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Do you run a fan Tumblr dedicated to me?’  
> ‘Uh.’  
> ‘ _Steve_!’ Bucky screeched. ‘You do!’  
>  ‘I do _not_.’  
>  ‘He does,’ interrupted Sam, who walked past behind Steve. ‘It’s creepy, yet adorable. He defends you constantly from all the people who treat you like a chunk of meat, but then goes and tags posts about you with things like _hashtag husband_.’  
>  Steve sighed and put his head on his desk. He didn’t slam it, as such. Just placed it there with the resignation of someone who knows they’re fucked. ‘I hate you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so it was a bit longer to post this than i thought it would be... so i've given in and tomorrow i'm going to write a full plan for this fic. taking the "yolo" approach does not seem to be working too well.

‘So how do you actually remember where I live?’ Steve asked. Bucky had arrived in a car, which he apparently had use of for the night, so they were driving to Tony’s apartment. His tower? They were driving to Stark Tower, whatever.

‘Uh, well, I have been to your place a couple of times,’ Bucky said with a small smirk. ‘I also dropped past your workplace this morning, but you weren’t there, so I asked the guy who _was_ and he told me. He was very helpful.’

‘Sam?’

‘I think that’s what he said his name was, yeah.’

Steve gave a weary sigh and leaned back into the seat. ‘He’s my roommate.’

‘Oh…’ Bucky frowned. ‘You two aren’t..?’

‘Together?’ Steve huffed and rolled his eyes. ‘Wouldn’t be here if we were. Sam’s just a friend. A very good, mostly straight friend.’

‘Mostly straight?’

‘Yeah, we’re pretty sure he’s got a thing with his friend, Riley.’

‘Interesting…’ Bucky mused. ‘So, who’s birthday is it?’

‘My friend, Peggy,’ Steve said. ‘All her family is in England so we take special care to get together for her birthday and to throw Christmas parties and stuff.’

‘That’s nice. I wasn’t sure what would be an appropriate gift, so I got my assistant to pick up a Barnes and Noble gift card. I figure you could help her find some things.’

‘You didn’t have to get her anything, really. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, though. She’s always complaining about books we don’t have in stock at the store.’

‘What can I say, I’m a gift whiz,’ Bucky shrugged, and looked Steve up and down briefly. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, I mean…’ Steve cleared his throat. He thought he was doing a good job acting normal and casual, like this wasn’t the guy he had been crushing on from way afar. ‘You’re James Barnes.’

‘…Yes?’

‘You’re James Barnes,’ Steve tried again. ‘You came into my shop, which was weird enough, then I spilled my smoothie on you and took you to my messy apartment, and you _still_ asked me on a date.’

‘Yeah, and?’ Bucky raised an eyebrow curiously. ‘Do you have a problem with that or something? You know you don’t have to accept when someone asks you out, right?’

‘It’s not that I don’t want to date you, trust me, it’s that I have the _option_ to and it wasn’t even my idea.’

Bucky frowned. ‘So you’re having an issue with that fact that I asked you out, even though you’re totally okay with it.’

‘I guess, I mean… You’re an actor. Everyone in the world knows who you are, and you decided to ask _me_ out.’

‘Actors are people too, Steve,’ Bucky joked. ‘But I see what you mean. What would make you feel better about this?’

‘I…’ Steve huffed. ‘I don’t know. Just be a person.’

‘The lizard that controls my brain is reeling at that suggestion, I’ll have you know.’

Steve grinned, and suddenly felt a lot better about the weird mix of emotions still rolling around in his body. ‘Tell it I say hi.’

 

* * *

 

As Bucky’s driver pulled up to Stark Tower, Steve felt sort of responsible for preparing him for the people he was about to meet. ‘Uh, so I don’t know how much you know about Tony Stark, but he can be very… loud. Ostentatious.’

‘Is this you giving me the “Tony Stark is a bit of a mad man” speech?’ Bucky asked, as he and Steve nodded politely to the receptionist at the front desk and entered the elevator to head up to the top floors.

‘This is me trying to keep you from being scared off by my friends,’ Steve replied.

‘Good evening, gentlemen,’ JARVIS, Tony’s in-built AI greeted softly. ‘Mister Stark is awaiting you in the bar. Shall I notify him of your arrival?’

‘Yeah, thanks, JARVIS,’ Steve nodded. ‘Let him know I’ve brought a plus-one.’

‘Of course, sir. And welcome back, Mister Barnes.’

‘Thanks,’ Bucky murmured, as the elevator began ascending.

‘Have you been here before?’ Steve asked, a couple seconds after _“Welcome back”_ clicked in his mind.

‘Once or twice,’ Bucky replied cryptically, offering no further explanation.

They were quiet until the elevator arrived at Tony’s penthouse and the elevator doors slid open to a subdued, yet lively, party atmosphere.

‘Steve!’ Tony greeted loudly, sauntering over, two drinks in his hands, and passing them to his new guests. ‘And Bucky! Buckaroo Barnes, how are you?’

‘I’m good,’ Bucky smiled. ‘You?’

‘Good good, everything okay?’ Tony asked, his tone winding down as he leaned, somewhat conspiratorially, towards Bucky.

‘Everything is fine,’ Bucky replied, tacking on a sincere, _“Really!”_ when Tony looked sceptical.

‘If you say,’ Tony shrugged. ‘Everyone is hovering at the bar. Come join us and meet the crew.’

Bucky offered Steve an apologetic shrug as Tony swept him up and away towards where everyone else was. Steve rolled his eyes and followed up, knowing that this was just Tony’s way – make the stranger (although they seemed to know each other well enough to have some form of coded language) feel welcome and leave the regular behind – and not that he was being passed over for a famous guy.

‘Bucky, you know the lovely Pepper Potts and equally beautiful Bruce Banner,’ Tony began, sweeping his arm over the gathered people. ‘This is Sam, Steve’s roommate, Clint, and our guest of honour, Peggy.’

‘Nice to meet you all. Steve told me it was your birthday, so I just got you a gift card,’ he added, turning to hand Peggy a small envelope. ‘I figure Steve could help you find things if you needed.’

‘That’s so kind, thank you,’ Peggy smiled, getting up to give him a brief hug. ‘And I loved your last film. You were brilliant.’

‘Thank you,’ Bucky replied, bowing his head slightly. ‘I hope I’m not intruding on anything.’

‘Absolutely not, the more the merrier.’

‘Do you and Stark know each other?’ Steve asked sliding up beside Bucky, as Tony went off somewhere, muttering about dinner.

‘Yeah, but that’s a story for another time,’ Bucky muttered. ‘It’s nothing bad.’

‘Almost everything that involves Tony is at least a _little_ crazy, so that’s not very reassuring.’

‘True, but I promise it’s nothing you need to worry about.’

Steve raised an eyebrow. ‘First date and you’re already making me big, serious promises.’

‘What can I say, I like to go hard and fast,’ Bucky shrugged. As he watched Steve’s eyebrow climb higher towards his hairline, Bucky realised what he had just said. ‘Oh, shit. Not like that.’

Steve pursed his lips to keep from laughing, and replied, voice strained, ‘That’s a pity.’

‘What’s a pity?’ Sam asked, catching the tail end of the conversation.

‘You don’t need to know,’ Steve grinned.

‘Need or want?’

‘Either.’

Sam sighed heavily and shook his head. ‘It was a sex thing.’

‘Oh my God, Steve,’ Peggy joined in. ‘Not before dinner!’

‘I didn’t do anything!’ Steve said defensively. ‘It was him!’

‘Me?’ Bucky gasped, feigning shock. ‘I did _nothing_.’

‘Kids, calm down. Dinner is served,’ Tony called, heralding them up to the large dining table that had appeared on the upper mezzanine level of the apartment sometime in the past week.

‘It really is a pity though,’ Steve murmured, hoping he hadn’t crossed a line with Bucky yet.

His fears proved to be unfounded when Bucky snorted in amusement and winked suggestively. ‘Might not be for much longer.’

 

* * *

 

Dinner proved to be less nerve wracking than Steve had anticipated. Bucky got along well with all his friends, and it was all… surprisingly normal. (Steve was still interested to know how Bucky and Tony knew each other, but he wasn’t going to push because it wasn’t really his business to be nosing into Bucky’s personal affairs quite yet.) (Even though that seemed a bit pointless due to the nature of Steve’s blog, but whatever.)

Steve felt like this could be something he could do – be with Bucky like this. He found himself forgetting over the course of the night that Bucky was this famous actor guy, because really, he acted nothing like the stuck up, obnoxious celebrities that you heard about. Bucky just… they clicked. He fell right into place with Steve’s friends, and it felt like he filled a gap that they hadn’t even realised was there.

It came to be fairly late before anyone was really sure what was happening. Bucky seemed to be keeping an eye on the time, though, and nudged Steve gently in the ribs and it ticked closer to midnight.

‘Steve, I need to leave soon,’ he murmured. ‘I have a flight in the morning.’

‘Yeah, no, of course,’ Steve nodded. ‘Do you want me to –’

‘If you want, I mean –’

‘Definitely, if that’s okay?’

Bucky laughed, a real laugh, not a little fake one that Steve had so often heard in interviews. ‘Yeah, very. I’ll get my driver to be here soon.’

‘Okay, I’ll let them know we’re going,’ Steve smiled, watching Bucky get up and head towards Tony’s massive floor to ceiling windows to make his call.

‘Something up with Barnes?’ Tony asked. He had been watching Bucky carefully the whole night, and it was weird for Steve to see him acting like such a mother hen.

‘He’s fine, just calling his car. We’ve gotta go soon,’ Steve explained. ‘He has a flight.’

Tony nodded. ‘Right, yeah, I forgot.’

Steve quirked an eyebrow. He was seriously going to need to find out what was going on between Bucky and Tony.

Before Steve had the chance to say anything, Bucky came back and nodded towards the elevator. ‘He’s here.’

‘Already?’

‘Yeah, apparently he was just down the road getting donuts or something.’

‘That’s handy,’ Steve mumbled, standing up and pulling straight his shirt. ‘We’re off then.’

‘Already?’ Peggy asked. ‘It’s barely midnight!’

‘My fault,’ Bucky smiled apologetically. ‘I have a flight in the morning and… well.’

‘Ah, yes,’ Peggy winked. ‘It’s okay. It was wonderful to meet you.’

‘You as well,’ Bucky replied, giving her a brief hug. ‘Happy birthday, again.’

‘Thank you, I hope you return to our sad little party sometime in the future.’

‘I will, I had a really good time.’

‘It’s all because of my excellent party throwing skills, huh, Barnes?’ Tony interrupted loudly, slinging an arm across Bucky’s shoulders.

‘Yeah, totally,’ Bucky rolled his eyes.

‘We should go,’ Steve said, clearing his throat and gently pulling Bucky out of Tony’s embrace. ‘I’ll you guys later.’

There was a chorus of _“Bye, boys!”_ as the pair of them left the main couches in front of the bar and entered the elevator.

‘Ground floor, gentlemen?’ JARVIS asked lightly.

‘Yes please,’ Steve nodded. ‘So you survived dinner, Bucky.’

‘I did,’ Bucky agreed. ‘I like your friends. They don’t treat me like some sort of wild animal. It’s very… refreshing.’

‘I like to think we’re all just bored by your presence,’ Steve said before he could stop himself. There was only a split second between Steve’s flash of regret at that comment, and the grin breaking out on Bucky’s face.

‘That’s great, actually,’ Bucky laughed. ‘I don’t meet enough people like you.’

‘Does that include Tony?’

Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Surprisingly yes. Compared to the people I know, he’s a dream to be around.’

‘Your life must be boring.’

‘Mm, something like that.’

‘So…’ Steve started, as the elevator arrived at the ground floor.

The doors opened with a soft _ding!_ and JARVIS announcing they had arrived in the lobby. ‘Have a pleasant evening, gentlemen. Good night.’

‘Night, JARVIS,’ Steve replied, heading out of the elevator.

‘Oh, Mister Barnes,’ JARVIS said, just before Bucky followed. ‘Mister Stark has just asked me to remind you of your “thing” after you return in four weeks.’

‘I know, tell him I have it written down.’

‘Very good, sir.’

‘Thanks, JARVIS,’ Bucky said, leaving the elevator and meeting Steve by the doors out. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine. What’s with you and Tony?’ Steve asked, as they headed towards Bucky’s car.

Bucky sighed and was quiet until they got into the car, door firmly shut behind them, and had begun heading towards Steve’s apartment. ‘He just… he helps me out with something.’

‘Oh?’

‘He’s actually very helpful.’

Steve decided to remain steadfast on his earlier decision not to pry, and simply said, ‘It’s always a surprise when that happens, right?’

Bucky laughed, relieved Steve had left it alone. ‘Yeah, very.’

‘Can I just ask something?’

‘Sure.’

Steve drummed his fingers against his leg. _This wasn’t prying._ ‘I understand that I have no right to ask, and I’m not trying to pry because you owe me nothing, but… Why Tony?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Just wondering why _Tony_ helps you. Generally, of course. I don’t need to know exactly,’ Steve explained. ‘He just… he has a very particular set of skills, so I’m just curious why he’s the guy who does… whatever.’

Bucky frowned and stretched his fingers, curling his hands into loose fists. ‘He offered.’

‘Offered?’

Bucky took a deep breath and exhaled steadily, trying to maintain the level of his voice. ‘Steve, no offence, but I really don’t want to talk about it. Maybe at some point, but not right now.’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you or anything.’

‘It’s fine,’ Bucky cracked a small smile. ‘You just gotta be level 15 to unlock this information.’

‘And what am I?’ Steve asked, going along with it.

‘Probably like… level two.’

‘Damn, a while to go yet, then.’

‘Yep. But if it makes you feel better, it’s a highly guarded secret, so you’ll be in the inner circle.’

Steve raised an eyebrow suspiciously. ‘And somehow Tony Stark is in on it? How does the entire world not know yet?’

‘Because he knows what it means to me,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘Believe it or not, Tony does have some semblance of a heart.’

 

* * *

 

If Steve was entirely honest, he had been expecting more than a chaste kiss from Bucky when they got back to his apartment building. Then again, they had just had some weird heart to heart about something (Steve still wasn’t sure what, but he had rolled with it) and put the car into a somewhat sombre mood. As well as that, Bucky did have a plane in a few hours, and he would probably need the sleep.

So Steve wasn’t actually that disappointed he hadn’t slept with Bucky. They had, of course, only met a couple of days earlier, and Bucky had a shitload more to lose than he did, so Steve was absolutely fine with where they were. As well as that, it felt like they had got off on the right foot. Steve was a bit nervous about bringing Bucky to meet his friends _as their first date, no less,_ but everything had gone smoothly and it felt… natural for him to be there.

However, Bucky was now going away somewhere for a few weeks, so Steve wouldn’t see him until he was back. It wouldn’t be too hard, Steve thought, but he was glad Bucky had given him his Skype username, just in case they wanted to talk.

 

* * *

 

**Saturday, 15 th August, 2015 [4:37:09 PM]**

**_buckingbarnes89 has accepted your friend request._ **

**_Bucky:_ ** _it’s been a week, i’m sorry, i’m terrible._

Steve looked up from his sketchbook to the laptop beside him, pausing the music he had playing as he opened the Skype window and read Bucky’s message.

 

**_Steve:_ ** _it’s okay! i know you’re busy :)_

**_Bucky:_ ** _the people i’m working with at the moment wanted to go out_

**_Steve:_ ** _not your sort of thing?_

**_Bucky:_ ** _steve i’m 7 hours ahead of you_

**_Bucky:_ ** _it’s nearly midnight_

**_Steve:_ ** _wait where did you go? you never said_

**_Bucky:_ ** _i’m in moscow_

**_Steve:_ ** _oh shit! really?_

**_Bucky:_ ** _yeah, i was playing translator at the bars they wanted to go to._

**_Steve:_ ** _ohhhhhh right_

**_Steve:_ ** _was it any fun?_

**_Bucky:_ ** _video call me and i’ll tell you all about it_

Steve grinned and tucked his pencil behind his ear, as he clicked the call button beside Bucky’s name. He rubbed his hands uselessly down his sweatpants in a vain attempt to clear some of the graphite off them.

Bucky answered after a few repetitions of the dial tone, as he sat down, already in his pyjamas, and carefully placed a mug on the bedside table next to him. ‘Hey,’ he greeted, letting out a yawn. ‘What’s up?’

‘Just doing some drawing,’ Steve smiled. ‘Tired?’

‘Absolutely dead,’ Bucky nodded. ‘I’ve been flat out since I got here, and now these people are making me run around with them so I can order their drinks. It’s bullshit.’

‘So I’m guessing the answer to my question is no, it wasn’t fun?’

Bucky rolled his eyes and took a sip of whatever was in his mug. ‘I’m not much of a recreational partier. This?’ he said, waving his mug pointedly. ‘This is completely coffee, because I don’t even drink _that_ much. All those idiots were trying to make me do vodka shots, because _apparently_ being able to speak Russian means that I’m automatically going to want to drink potato juice.’

Steve nodded, letting Bucky get his frustrations out. ‘So did they all turn in when you did?’

‘Nope,’ Bucky smirked, looking quite pleased with himself. ‘I left them to fend for themselves. They have a couple of other Russian-speakers there, they’ll be fine.’

‘But they insisted on dragging you out?’

‘Mhmm. If I hadn’t escaped by midnight, I was going to fake being sick and have my assistant take me home anyway.’

‘You took your assistant out drinking?’

‘She’s not really my assistant, but yeah,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘She’s a story for another time.’

Steve huffed a laugh and ran a hand through his hair, realising too late he might actually be rubbing the pencil off in it. ‘Everything with you is a story for another time.’

‘I’m a celebrity,’ Bucky snorted. ‘Gotta maintain the mystery somehow, right?’

‘Right, yeah.’ Steve and Bucky got along so well (Steve refused to refer to it as “they clicked” one more time) that it was easy to forget who Bucky was. Or maybe it was because Steve’s Bucky-centric blog made it feel like he knew the other man already.

‘So how’ve you been since I left? Spilled any smoothies on any other poor, unsuspecting fuckers?’

‘Sadly, no. Though I don’t think any potential victims would be as charmed by it as you apparently were.’

‘Hot guys spilling their drinks on me always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside,’ Bucky replied, sipping his coffee casually. ‘Just love the way they ruin my favourite shirts, ya know?’

Steve blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Yeah… sorry again.’

‘I’m just fuckin’ with ya,’ Bucky grinned. ‘Gotta get my kicks somehow.’

‘You’re mean,’ Steve whined. ‘I feel so bad about it and you keep making me feel worse.’

‘Don’t feel too bad. I got the stain out easy.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, of course. My assistant knows a few handy tricks.’

‘What’s your assistant like? Is it the pretty redhead I’ve seen in paparazzi photos with you? Or…’ Steve trailed off, realising he may have just stuck his foot in his mouth.

Bucky didn’t seem to notice Steve’s comment (or maybe he didn’t care?) and nodded. ‘Yeah, that’s her. Natasha. She’s amazing. The word “assistant” feels kind of like an insult to how much she means to me.’

‘Oh.’

‘But like I said, she’s a story for another time.’

‘Do I need to be level 15 to unlock the secrets of Natasha as well?’

Bucky laughed. ‘Not necessarily. It just depends whether it happens to pop up in conversation or not.’

Steve rolled his eyes. ‘Damn, Buck. Can’t I have _one_ unknown thing about you? It’s not like I’m gonna go posting your secrets on my blog.’ _Oh, shit._

‘Your blog?’ Bucky asked, eyebrows flying into his hair. ‘Why would you post on your blog? Oh my God, do you _blog_ about me, Steve?’

‘Pssht, no,’ Steve said, as casually as he could. ‘That would be weird.’

‘You do!’ Bucky gasped. ‘You totally blog about me!’

‘I don’t.’

‘Are we your OTB or whatever it is?’

‘OT _P_ ,’ Steve corrected. ‘And I don’t blog about you.’

‘You’re a terrible liar. Is it a _blog_ blog, or is it Tumblr?’ Bucky asked, putting the laptop on his bed, crossing his legs and leaning forward interestedly. ‘Do you run a fan Tumblr dedicated to me?’

‘Uh.’

‘ _Steve!_ ’ Bucky screeched. ‘You do!’

‘I do _not_.’

‘He does,’ interrupted Sam, who walked past behind Steve. ‘It’s creepy, yet adorable. He defends you constantly from all the people who treat you like a chunk of meat, but then goes and tags posts about you with things like _hashtag husband_.’

Steve sighed and put his head on his desk. He didn’t slam it, as such. Just placed it there with the resignation of someone who knows they’re fucked. ‘I hate you.’

‘Sam, can you send me a link?’ Bucky asked. ‘Or give me his yurl?’

‘URL,’ Sam said. ‘He’ll cave. Or you’ll find him. He’s not difficult to find in the _James Barnes_ tag.’

Bucky was cackling now, bent at the waist, head nearly resting on the keyboard of his laptop. ‘Oh shit, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.’

‘Just kill me,’ Steve moaned, turning his head to the side so they could both hear him clearly. ‘Kill me dead.’

‘This is just… so… _nice_ ,’ Bucky got out, between wheezes and fits of laughter. ‘You’re like my online defence squad?’

‘That’s literally his username,’ Sam said, now walking back into the hallway, having retrieved a snack of Pringles from the kitchen.

‘Fuck you, Sam!’ Steve flipped him the bird as he walked to his room.

‘You’re actually my defence squad?’ Bucky asked, considerably calmer now.

‘Well, you’re not going to see half the shit they say, so yeah,’ Steve admitted, poking his head back up to watch Bucky’s reaction on his screen. ‘You’re a person, and they don’t seem to realise it.’

‘Aw, Steve,’ Bucky smiled. ‘That’s actually nice of you.’

‘Not really, I just have a sense of basic human decency.’

‘So is it _jamesbarnesdefencesquad?_ Or?’

‘Just _barnesdefencesquad_ ,’ Steve rolled his eyes. ‘Fuck it. Not like I have anything super embarrassing on there.’

‘Ooh, are you sure?’ Bucky asked, apparently having made his way onto Steve’s blog. ‘This looks suspiciously like my ass.’

‘Wait, what?’ Steve squeaked, quickly pulling up his browser and going onto his blog. ‘Fuck, that was in my queue.’

‘Did you draw that? Steve, did you draw my ass?’

‘Uh…’ Steve scratched his head. ‘No?’

‘Liar,’ Bucky grinned. ‘It’s good. Real good. Not quite perfect, but you’ve never been close up with my butt, so I forgive you.’

‘Wow, thanks,’ Steve rolled his eyes. ‘It doesn’t bother you, does it? I’ll take it down if you –’

‘No! Hell no, I’m flattered you drew my butt. When I get back, I’ll give you some good references.’

‘What, you’ll pose for me so I can draw your butt to a higher standard?’

‘Exactly.’

A laugh bubbled out of Steve in disbelief. ‘Seriously?’

‘Fuck yeah, I take representation of my butt _very_ seriously,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘Have you drawn anything else of me? Oh, wait. You’ve tagged it with something promising.’

‘How are you so okay with this?’ Steve asked. _This is fucking surreal._ ‘You just found out I run a blog about you, that I like to spend my spare time _drawing your ass_ , and all you say is “I’ll give you better references, is there more?” so I’m just… really confused.’

‘You forget I’m a person, Steve,’ Bucky murmured, concentrating on his screen as he scrolled through Steve’s art of him. ‘I’m actually very flattered you spend this much time dedicated to me. It’s like we were already dating and it just took me a while to catch up.’

Steve allowed himself a small smile. ‘Maybe that’s why I’m kind of not weirded out by this whole thing.’

‘What thing?’

‘The… ya know. The thing. That you want to date me.’

Bucky raised an eyebrow. ‘Why wouldn’t I?’

‘You have your pick of everyone and here we are.’

‘We’ve been over this, remember? I’m just a person. I love acting, and I’m not in it for the fame, so it doesn’t really… affect my brain, I guess? Like I’m aware of it, but it hasn’t changed my perspective of the world.’ Bucky shrugged, like he didn’t know how well he was doing of explaining his thoughts. ‘I’m still just Bucky Barnes, dude from Brooklyn.’

‘You have an assistant, and you fly around the world and get paid thousands to do it.’

‘Added bonus. And Natasha’s more than an assistant.’ Bucky frowned, like he was debating with himself over something. ‘She’s on loan from Tony, actually.’

‘What?’

‘Natasha technically works for Tony. She just hangs around with me. She makes things easier.’

‘Well, she’s an assistant, so I think that’s kind of her job…’

‘More like her cover. She doesn’t do much _assisting_ when it’s not in public view.’

‘I have no idea what you mean,’ Steve said, shaking his head to clear the jumble of Bucky’s words from it. ‘I’ll just wait until I’m level 15 to unlock Natasha’s story.’

Bucky laughed. ‘Yeah, that’s fine. I’m shit at explaining things when I try to keep aspects under wraps.’

‘Apparently so,’ Steve smiled. ‘What time is it there now? I don’t want to be interrupting your beauty sleep. God knows you need it,’ he teased.

‘I know, right? It’s nearly midnight. I can stay up a bit longer if you want.’

‘If you’re tired, just sleep. It’s okay.’

‘Are you sure? I haven’t seen you in like a week.’

‘I managed for several years without you, letting you go now so you can catch up on sleep won’t kill me,’ Steve shrugged. ‘You can sleep.’

Bucky sighed and nodded. ‘True. I might go, then. I have the day off tomorrow, though. Do you wanna talk later?’

‘Yeah, sure. Call me after you’ve had dinner or something.’

‘I’ll do that. Are you on Snapchat?’

‘Yup.’

‘Okay, add me. Same username as this one.’

‘Ooh, are you gonna send me selfies?’ Steve asked.

‘I will definitely send you selfies,’ Bucky winked. ‘I’ll talk to you later, then.’

‘Yup, I’ll be here.’

‘Great,’ Bucky smiled, absolutely meaning it. ‘I look forward to it.’

‘Same here,’ Steve agreed. ‘Night, Buck.’

‘Night, Stevie,’ Bucky yawned, waving half-heartedly as Steve ended the call.

_Shit,_ this was hard. Steve might’ve had a crush on Bucky for the better part of, oh, like, _forever_ , it seemed, but now he was actually getting to know him? He was so fucked. He had actual substance to his crush now, because Bucky was fuelling the fire with all his… his _self._ He was utterly likeable as a human, not just relatable as a celebrity anymore. Bucky Barnes was going to ruin Steve’s life, and he was completely, one hundred percent okay with it.

 

* * *

 

‘Why do you like this guy so much?’ Natasha asked quietly, putting her marker in her book and placing it on her bed beside her.

‘He’s cute.’

‘Anything else?’

‘He treats me like a person. It’s refreshing.’

‘He draws your ass for fun,’ Natasha pointed out. ‘That’s a bit weird, don’t you think?’

Bucky shrugged as he got up and carried his empty mug through to the small kitchen in their suite. ‘I think he would draw my ass whether he knew me or not.’

‘Interesting idea. How long have you known him, though? And you’re giving him your Skype and Snapchat, knowing _full well_ he could post it on the internet and you would be swarmed.’

‘He wouldn’t do that.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because he’s a good person,’ Bucky replied, quickly gargling some mouthwash and spitting it out. ‘He was defending me online before he knew me, and I’m pretty fucking sure he’ll do it more enthusiastically now than ever. He’s a decent guy, Nat.’

Natasha rolled her eyes. ‘So you trust him?’

‘Yeah, I do.’

‘After like a week.’

‘Yes, after, like a week,’ Bucky sighed. ‘But if he does end up doing anything bad, like you seem to _think_ he will, then you can kick his ass.’

Natasha grinned. ‘Thanks, and afterwards I’ll say _I told you so._ ’

‘But you won’t, because that won’t happen.’

‘How can you be _sure_ he’s not playing you, Bucky?’

‘You haven’t met him, Nat. You don’t get it.’

‘Uh huh,’ Natasha rolled her eyes. ‘As soon as we get back, you’re _letting_ me meet him so I can figure him out, okay?’

‘If it makes you feel better.’

‘Bucky,’ Natasha sighed in that way that always made Bucky feel like a child. ‘It’s my job to keep you safe, remember? Emotionally as well as physically.’

‘I know,’ Bucky nodded and stretched the fingers of his left hand, as he pulled back his sheets with his right. ‘You’re just looking out for me.’

‘Exactly. So let me meet him so I know he’s not going to take advantage of you, yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ Bucky mumbled, rolling into his sheets and switching off his light. ‘Okay.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steve's tumblr url, _barnesdefencesquad_ is one of mine that i've hoarded. (just so i didn't go picking another random one and end up actually using someone else's.) (also i'm pretty unoriginal hah.)


	3. Shrek: Cinematic Masterpiece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t the weirdest situation Steve had ever been in – eating dinosaur shaped pasta, while an internationally renowned actor sat mere feet away, rolled like a burrito into a blanket, and his mildly threatening, more-than-an-assistant recited the lines to a fucking _Shrek_ movie – but it was definitely up there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this chapter is kind of a mess tbh i'm not very eloquent sometimes... also sorry it's (kinda) short and it's been nearly a month? i got sidetracked a bit.

It wasn’t like Natasha had long to wait until she could meet Steve. She and Bucky had been in Moscow for a week already, and another week after bearing witness to their Skype call, the pair of them were heading home. It seemed that whatever Bucky had been taking part in, it didn’t require much time for him to film. (“It’s a secret, Steve,” Bucky said exasperatedly to Steve, the second time they Skyped. “I’m pretty sure it’s in my contract that I can’t tell you.”)

A couple days after arriving back, Bucky had arranged a date night for him and Steve. Bucky apparently thought it would be a great idea for Natasha to just tag along, because, _“We’re not going to do anything and you know that.”_

Natasha did, in fact, know that he and Steve weren’t going to do anything. It was a shame that she would know it before Steve, but then again, he didn’t know Bucky quite like Natasha did. That was sort of the point of her working with him.

 

**_Sgt. Bootylicious (Bucky):_ ** _i’ve sent u a list of things i need from the store :)_

**_Sgt. Bootylicious (Bucky):_ ** _u could bring them over tonight and meet steve at the same time if u want :)))_

**_Sgt. Bootylicious (Bucky):_ ** _also reaffirming that nothing gross will happen while ur here_

**_Natasha:_ ** _u & i both know nothing gross will happen tonight_

**_Natasha:_ ** _when is he coming?_

**_Sgt. Bootylicious (Bucky):_ ** _sometime around 7ish_

**_Natasha:_ ** _i'll be there at 6:30_

**_Sgt. Bootylicious (Bucky):_ ** _thanks nat. ur my fave agent ;)_

Natasha huffed a laugh, and checked the time, seeing it was already nearing five twenty. Knowing Bucky, he would have a massive list of things he needed from the store, because he wasn’t exactly the type to keep anything in his house.

True to this, the list started off with about six different fruits, and more vegetables than he would eat in a month. Oh well. She wasn’t paying for it. If he wanted to spend a ridiculous amount of money on all this organic, artisanal (whatever) fruit and vege, then end up eating take out most nights, she wasn’t going to tell him how to live his life.

She decided it best to head out and start gathering Bucky’s provisions, and make her way to his apartment, before he somehow died of hunger.

 

* * *

 

It was just after six thirty when Natasha arrived at Bucky’s building, loaded up with his food. Whenever she made these food runs for him, she said a silent prayer to thank whatever God was up there for Bucky’s elevator being operational. Bucky lived on the seventh floor, and while she _could_ carry all this crap up seven flights of stairs, she really didn’t want to.

‘Open up,’ she called, knocking her elbow on Bucky’s door. ‘This stuff weighs a tonne.’

Bucky pulled open his door a few moments later, looking utterly relieved to see her there. ‘Hey, Nat.’

‘Formalities later,’ she said, stepping inside and heading directly to his kitchen. Once she had dumped the bags on his floor, she looked up and grinned. ‘Hey, Buck.’

‘Did you get the pizzas?’

‘Yeah, I got the pizzas,’ Natasha said, reaching into one of the bags and pulling out two frozen pizzas. ‘Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?’

‘Yep.’

‘Okay, then you can deal with them, and I’ll sort all your food away.’ Natasha sighed as she pulled a small bottle from one of the bags. ‘And, uh, as much as I love you, please don’t ever put _lube_ on your list again. Never.’

Bucky blushed and grabbed the bottle, shoving it into his pocket and sliding the pizzas into his oven. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s fine, I get it, just… Get Steve to buy it or whatever. Or, y’know, you could just order all your food online?’ she suggested, putting a couple boxes of animal shaped pasta in his cupboard. ‘Because that’s a thing now.’

‘I don’t trust them to get the good stuff.’

Natasha rolled her eyes, knowing this conversation would end the way it always did – with her being roped into getting his groceries at least one more time. ‘Yeah, okay. Did you go to Tony’s today?’

‘He was busy,’ Bucky said, a small frown on his face.

‘You mean _you_ were.’

Bucky’s frown deepened. ‘You don’t need to drag me in, I’ve told him I’m going to see him tomorrow.’

‘Good. That’s good. Do you want me to go with you, though?’

Bucky nodded. ‘Some moral support would be nice.’

Natasha smiled slightly as she finished arranging bananas in Bucky’s fruit bowl. ‘You know that if you and Steve become something, you’re gonna have to tell him, right?’

‘I don’t.’

‘I think he’ll notice.’

Bucky opened his mouth to argue again, but there was a buzz on the intercom, and he ran off to answer it and let Steve up.

As Bucky went off, a smile completely lighting up his face at the prospect of his visitor, Natasha remembered the reason she was here. Not to scrutinise Bucky’s bad decisions about personal care, but to interrogate the shit out of his boyfriend. (Potential boyfriend? She wasn’t sure if they had made it official yet.) (She would have to find out.)

‘Nat,’ Bucky called. ‘Living room?’

Natasha finished folding up all Bucky’s environmentally friendly ( _“Just call them ‘reusable’, Bucky, Jesus.”)_ bags, and walked back to the living room of Bucky’s apartment, kicking her shoes off in the entry way as she did. When she arrived there, she was met with the guy who she guessed must be Steve.

…And okay, yeah, she totally had not been expecting _that_. Tony had never mentioned the guy, and as much as she knew he was kind of a narcissist, he was being a total _masochist_ by not letting her absorb this dude’s image into her near-photographic memory. He was tall as fuck and muscly as all hell, with golden hair and cornflower blue eyes, and had the most _ridiculous_ shoulder-to-waist ratio. It kind of made her want to sigh dreamily, because _god damn_ , but she settled for raising an eyebrow and flicking her gaze to Bucky incredulously.

Bucky grinned triumphantly, knowing _exactly_ what was going through her mind (fuck him, that asshole). ‘Nat, this is Steve. Steve, this is my assistant, Natasha.’

‘It’s great to meet you, Natasha,’ Steve said, smiling warming and extending a hand to her. ‘Bucky speaks highly of you.’

‘I should hope so,’ she smiled, taking his hand and shaking it delicately. He had a good grip – something going in his favour already. ‘I hear you’ve stolen Bucky’s heart.’

Steve blushed, which actually looked fucking strange on a guy his size. ‘I wouldn’t say that, but yeah. I like him.’

‘You’re not in a gang, are you?’

Steve’s mouth fell open in shock at being asked that. ‘Me? Gang? I, no. I’m just – I sell books?’

‘Nat, he’s not in a gang,’ Bucky said, giving her his _“the fuck?”_ expression.

‘Just checking. No criminal record? Unsavoury connections?’ she prompted.

‘Uhh… No?’ Steve looked to Bucky for an answer. ‘I mean, Tony Stark can be kind of unsavoury when he wants?’

‘True,’ Natasha narrowed her eyes. ‘Been in any long term relationships?’

‘I… Not recently,’ Steve admitted. ‘I’m sorry, why are you asking?’

‘She wants to know if you’re going to hurt me in any way,’ Bucky stage whispered. ‘She’s very proactive when it comes to her job.’

‘Yeah, because that’s what it is,’ Natasha reminded him. ‘My job. Because, among other things, you’re useless at figuring people out.’

Bucky blushed and had the decency to look embarrassed. Last time he had dated someone, he didn’t let Natasha do this, and they had almost ruined him. Both literally and figuratively. Now he just trusted Nat to look after his best interests where he (apparently) couldn’t.

Natasha continued eyeing up Steve, until something else caught her attention. ‘Do you smell burning?’

‘Me?’ Steve asked, mildly confused at the change in pace.

‘Shit!’ Bucky cursed, jumping into action and running for the kitchen, leaving Natasha and Steve in the living room.

‘I’m not going to hurt him,’ Steve said, shifting uncomfortably under Natasha’s relentless, heavy gaze. ‘You don’t need to worry about that. You can trust me with him.’

‘No offence, Steve,’ Natasha said, crossing her arms over her chest. ‘But my trust can’t just be _handed_. You need to prove it. I take a lot more to win over than he does, and that’s why I’m here, because when I’m not, he gets hurt.’

‘He’s a grown man, you know. He can look after himself.’

‘Steve, you don’t really know him,’ Natasha sighed. ‘You might think you do, because you read about him and read interviews with him, but that’s _James_. You don’t know _Bucky_.’

‘I don’t know if there’s a difference,’ Steve said, his voice lilting up the at the end like a question.

Natasha shrugged. ‘Bucky keeps things hidden. James Barnes is an open book when it comes to things he’ll talk about.’

‘So, what? What do you want me to do?’

‘Just don’t hurt Bucky. Do that, and we’ll have no problems, okay?’

Steve nodded. ‘Like I said, I have no intentions of hurting him.’

‘Good,’ Natasha smiled, and Steve visibly relaxed. ‘Then you and I might just get along.’

‘Is she being the big, bad Nat again?’ Bucky asked from the doorway. ‘It’s a scare tactic, don’t worry. She’s harmless.’

‘Well, consider me scared and doubtful about that,’ Steve said honestly, getting a laugh from Natasha for his troubles.

‘Good,’ she grinned. ‘I think we’ll turn out being great friends, Steve.’

‘Super!’ Bucky said, nudging Steve in the ribs. ‘Pizza time?’

 

* * *

 

‘This pizza is burnt.’

‘It’s not burnt, Nat,’ Bucky said quietly, keeping his eyes on the TV, where they were watching _Kate and Leopold_. One of Bucky’s favourite movies, it seemed. ‘It’s well done.’

‘It’s burnt,’ Natasha repeated.

‘Yeah, it is a bit charred,’ Steve agreed. ‘Edible, though. Can barely taste it.’

Natasha rolled her eyes. ‘God, you’re going to be so annoying to deal with.’

‘Why?’

‘You’re trying to placate both of us, and it’s stupidly sweet,’ she grimaced and stood up, putting her plate on the coffee table in front of the couch that the three of them were squished together on. ‘I’m gonna go throw up, excuse me.’

Steve watched Natasha leave the living room and turned to Bucky. ‘Is she actually going to?’

‘Nah, she just likes to be dramatic,’ Bucky shrugged.

‘Does she…’ Steve paused, taking a small breath. ‘Does she hate me?’

Bucky laughed and shook his head. ‘No, she doesn’t. You’d know if she hated you.’

‘Well, I _don’t_ know, that’s why I’m asking.’

‘Yeah, I suppose she can be difficult to get a read on if you’ve just met her. She doesn’t hate you, I think she trusts you, actually.’

‘She does?’

‘Yeah, and that’s better than having her like you. She could like someone, but have no problems beating the shit out of them. If she trusts you, then I think you’re safer.’

‘Oh,’ Steve frowned. ‘That’s reassuring, I suppose.’

‘You’re not telling the boy lies, are you, Bucky?’ Natasha asked, coming back into the room with a fresh drink in her hand.

‘I would _never_ ,’ Bucky smiled innocently.

Natasha raised an eyebrow and sat back on the couch, squishing Bucky between herself and Steve again. ‘Good.’

‘So what’s the official verdict on Steve?’

‘Well,’ Natasha leaned forward to put her drink on the table and peer around Bucky to watch Steve’s reaction to her words. ‘He’s safe. I think you were right that he’s not going to do anything I deem unsafe.’

‘Unsafe?’ Steve asked.

‘Yeah, you’re very… _vanilla_.’

‘Um.’

‘Will you be nice to him, then?’ Bucky asked. ‘He thinks you don’t like him.’

Natasha shrugged. ‘Don’t take it personally, I don’t really like anyone. I barely put up with _him_ ,’ she said, winking at Steve and nodding towards Bucky. ‘He’s a pain in the ass.’

‘Nat,’ Bucky whined.

‘ _Yes_ , I’ll be nice to your boyfriend.’

‘He has your blessing?’

‘For now,’ Natasha nodded. ‘But remember, I have eyes everywhere, so if you fuck up, I’ll know.’

‘That’s comforting, thank you,’ Steve said drily.

‘Just doing my job,’ Natasha said. ‘I should probably get going soon and leave you two to…’

‘Bond?’ Bucky suggested. ‘Make love in the spare room where you occasionally sleep?’

‘We could start in the kitchen and make our way around the apartment,’ Steve added. ‘I’m sure there are plenty of hidden nooks and crannies here that we could mark.’

‘Oh God, please don’t,’ Natasha groaned. ‘And if you _ever_ fuck in my bed, Bucky, I will break your arm.’

‘You could _never_ ,’ Bucky grinned. ‘You’re too tiny.’

‘And _you’re_ not funny. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at ten, okay?’ she said, standing from the couch again. ‘Don’t be late. Put an alarm on or something.’

‘Yes, _mom_.’

‘I’ll bring you coffee, and if you’re good, I’ll get you a bagel on the way back.’

Bucky nodded seriously and saluted her. ‘Aye aye, Captain.’

‘It was good to meet you, Steve,’ Natasha said, patting him on the shoulder as she walked past him to get to the door. ‘Make sure he gets to bed before midnight, would you?’

‘Okay? And it was good to meet you, too,’ Steve smiled.

Natasha grinned and disappeared quickly, leaving Steve and Bucky alone, half a burnt pizza on the table, and _Kate and Leopold_ playing in the background.

‘I like her,’ Steve said quietly, pulling his legs up to cross under himself. ‘She seems like someone you want to have on your side when things go south, if you get me.’

‘Yeah, I do, and she really is,’ Bucky huffed. ‘Nat’s a good person. I’d be lost without her, probably.’

‘Can I just ask… What does she actually do? It feels like she’s more than an assistant.’

‘She is. Nat does so much more than anyone gives her credit for…’ Bucky trailed off and yawned, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘But I don’t really want to talk about it.’

‘I get it, it’s not my business, so I’ll leave you two to your secrets,’ Steve bumped his shoulder into Bucky’s. ‘I like mysteries.’

 

* * *

 

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hye steeb_

**_Steve:_ ** _…bucky?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _stebe come to me husoe_

**_Steve:_ ** _could u repeat that?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hey steve, this is natasha. please ignore bucky, he’s a little out of it._

**_Steve:_ ** _oh my god is he okay?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _yeah he’s great, he’s just a bit tired. slightly anaesthetised, too._

**_Steve:_ ** _what happened?! this does not sound like he’s okay!_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _he is, he’s fine, don’t worry. i'm sure he’ll talk to you about this soon :)_

**_Steve:_ ** _uh okay so i'm not invited over..?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _uhhh… probably not until after dinner, i think._

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _or you could come over for dinner? i'm making pasta for bucky because he’ll set his apartment on fire again if i don’t._

**_Steve:_ ** _he set his apartment on fire bc u didn’t cook for him?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _no he set it on fire trying to cook. he's not very good when he’s out of it._

**_Steve:_ ** _… makes sense. what time should i be there? do i need to bring anything?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _nope, and around six, i think._

**_Steve:_ ** _sounds good. you promise he’s okay?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _of course, he’s totally fine._

**_Steve:_ ** _…okay. i'll see you at six._

 

* * *

 

When Steve got to Bucky’s apartment, he really didn’t know what he was expecting. Definitely not to be greeted at the door by Natasha, who opened with, ‘Shoes off and be super quiet,’ before she left again.

‘Sure, okay,’ Steve muttered to himself, toeing his beat up converse off, and following the scent of cooking to Bucky’s kitchen. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked Natasha, who was standing behind the bench, chopping an assortment of… things, and throwing them all into a pan.

‘Bucky had a small procedure today,’ Natasha said, beckoning him over. ‘Nothing he hasn’t had done before, and nothing you’ll be able to see, but it takes a lot out of him, usually. That’s why I make him dinner, and everything is very quiet.’

‘Aha,’ Steve nodded slowly. ‘So why am I here? So we can sit in silence?’

‘He wanted you here,’ Natasha shrugged. ‘Just keep him company. Don’t touch him unless he says it’s okay, and don’t initiate long conversations. Short and sweet.’

‘That’s fine. Where is he?’

‘On the couch. He’s watching _Shrek_.’

‘ _Shrek_?’

‘Yeah, don’t comment on it, he’ll get pissed off at you. Or burst into tears. Can never tell which.’

‘Okay. We’ve all been there, I guess,’ Steve said, heading towards the living room. When he got there, he saw Bucky curled into one corner of the couch, wrapped in a heavy blanket, eyes transfixed on his TV. ‘Hey, Bucky,’ Steve said softly. ‘How you doing?’

Bucky glanced over to where Steve had sat down in one of the huge armchairs either side of the couch. ‘Sorry I texted you earlier.’

(Steve noted Bucky ignoring his question, but politely decided not to push it.) ‘It’s fine, Natasha said you were a little…’

‘Out of it, yeah. Sorry.’ Bucky turned back to his TV, and was quiet as Fiona dealt with the singing Robin Hood and his band of merry men. ‘I just… I have this thing…’ Bucky said, shifting a little under his blanket.

‘You don’t have to explain,’ Steve said, giving Bucky a small, reassuring smile. ‘I’m not gonna push you, especially not now.’

‘What, because I’m a bit broken right now?’

‘No, because _Shrek_ is a cinematic masterpiece,’ Steve’s smile turned into a grin, as he nodded towards the TV. ‘We can talk later, or tomorrow. But not during _Shrek_.’

Bucky smiled and pulled his blanket a little tighter around himself, happy to just sit with Steve until Natasha brought out their food.

‘How are you feeling?’ Natasha asked quietly, handing Steve a bowl of pasta, then going to sit beside Bucky and give him a bowl as well.

‘I’m okay,’ Bucky said, holding his bowl through the blanket with his left hand. ‘Regretting my life decisions, as usual.’

‘Yeah, I figured. That’s why you make appointments as soon as issues pop up, Bucky.’

‘I know, God,’ Bucky rolled his eyes, then looked over to Steve. ‘Sorry I’m being a crappy host.’

‘It’s fine, really,’ Steve shrugged. ‘I don’t mind just hanging out and watching _Shrek_.’

Natasha and Bucky glanced at each other. ‘He’s going to be good for you,’ Natasha murmured, nodding to Bucky’s food. ‘Eat. Stark’ll have my ass if you pass out again.’

‘You mean he’ll _try_ to,’ Bucky muttered, poking at his food and lifting a piece of shaped pasta to his mouth. ‘Thanks, Nat.’

‘Happy to help.’ She said something in a language Steve didn’t understand, then – Russian? – and gave Bucky an expectant look.

‘No,’ Bucky shook his head in answer to whatever question Natasha had asked. ‘And don’t bring it up, please. _Shrek 2_?’

Natasha sighed and stood up to put in the next movie, as Bucky ate a few more pieces of food. ‘He’s going to use you as a servant one day, Steve,’ she groaned. ‘Just you wait. This is what’s in your future.’

‘I don’t mind helping out,’ Steve said. ‘Besides, I like Shrek, and this pasta is really good.’

‘Thanks,’ Natasha grinned. ‘It’s –’

‘Sorry but could you guys shut up?’ Bucky interrupted.

Natasha stopped talking and turned her attention to her food, while Steve sat feeling slightly awkward at the mood of the room, and Bucky became enraptured in the opening song of _Shrek 2_ , slowly eating his pasta.

It wasn’t the weirdest situation Steve had ever been in – eating dinosaur shaped pasta, while an internationally renowned actor sat mere feet away, rolled like a burrito into a blanket, and his mildly threatening, more-than-an-assistant recited the lines to a fucking _Shrek_ movie – but it was definitely up there.

When the second Shrek movie had come and gone, Steve decided he should probably go. Bucky didn’t exactly react much to his announcement, except to nod and shrink further into his blanket, watching the third _Shrek_ movie start up. Natasha, however, got up to walk him out.

‘Why was I here tonight?’ Steve asked her, as he shoved his feet into his shoes and battled with the laces.

‘I don’t know,’ Natasha said honestly. ‘Usually it’s just the two of us, sometimes his sister or his mom comes over, but not often. He wasn’t as quiet as usual, if it makes you feel better.’

‘Not really. While I can understand that sometimes you just need quiet, it was…’

‘Bizarre to see him like that?’

‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘Like I said, James is an act. This is Bucky.’

‘Quiet and Shrek-obsessed?’

‘They’re his happy movies,’ Natasha explained. ‘They keep his mind occupied with something light-hearted, apparently.’

‘Right,’ Steve frowned, standing from doing his shoes.

‘Look, Bucky’s been through shit, this is just… the aftermath. It’ll probably always be like this. One day it might get more manageable, but for now, be glad you didn’t deal with the screaming and sobbing. If you thought _today_ was terrifying, you should’ve been here in the beginning.’

‘Jesus,’ Steve breathed.

‘Mhmm,’ Natasha raised an eyebrow. ‘If that gets onto the internet, I’m going to kill you.’

‘I know.’

‘I should get Stark to have you sign a nondisclosure,’ she mused.

‘Not necessary. I like Bucky, I wouldn’t do that to him.’

‘Uh huh. Give me your phone.’

‘Why?’ Steve asked, reflexively grabbing his phone in his pocket.

‘Don’t freak out,’ Natasha rolled her eyes. ‘I’m just gonna put my number in it so I can text you or you can text me, whatever.’

‘Oh,’ Steve handed her his phone. ‘Don’t you need _my_ number to text me?’

‘I have yours,’ she said, quickly adding herself as a contact to Steve’s phone, then giving it back.

‘Oh,’ he repeated. ‘Okay.’

‘I should get back to Bucky. He’ll probably talk to you tomorrow.’

‘That’s fine,’ Steve nodded. ‘Uh… take care of him, I guess.’

Natasha huffed in amusement. ‘That’s kinda my job.’


	4. Cross My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Holy shit,’ Steve breathed. ‘Is that…’  
> ‘Real?’  
> ‘Yeah.’  
> ‘Yeah,’ Bucky nodded. ‘It’s real.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i actually finished this chapter this morning at 3am and when i went to upload it, chrome was being incredibly uncooperative, so i gave up. hopefully the flow of this whole thing is okay... i feel like i'm rushing it a bit.
> 
> ANYWAY. hopefully there are no mistakes bc i cbf checking for them right now oops.

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hey something came up and now i'm busy for the next few days so i can’t see u today but i wanted to apologise for last night…_

**_Steve:_ ** _that’s fine! i know ur busy a lot_

**_Steve:_ ** _and u don’t have to apologise?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i do tho, u didn’t need to see me like that and i shouldn’t have had nat make sure u came over_

**_Steve:_ ** _tbh stop apologising for being human. i could’ve said no._

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i suppose…_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _it’s not like it’ll never happen again_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _despite who and what i am, are u sure u want to get into something w me??_

**_Steve:_ ** _yeah i'm here for this_

**_Steve:_ ** _despite who and what you are ;)_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _well i'll do my best to live up to expectations_

**_Steve:_ ** _natasha said that “bucky and james are separate” so i'm guessing that’s code for “have no expectations”_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hah yeah p much_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _shit i gtg i'll text u_

**_Steve:_ ** _okay :) have fun!_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _not likely haha_

Steve sighed as he locked his phone and put it back in his pocket, leaning against the counter and watching Sam try to juggle a pile of books in his arms, as he stood on the top of a step ladder. ‘You’re going to fall.’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence,’ Sam deadpanned, sliding a book onto the shelf. ‘What’s got you sighing like a lovesick teenager?’

‘Nothing.’

‘You smell that? It’s bullshit. What’s up?’

‘I went to see Bucky last night –’

‘Still didn’t bang?’

‘Irrelevant, but no. We are gentlemen, thank you. Bucky keeps apologising for being human.’

Sam turned to give Steve an incredulous look. ‘Explain.’

‘Well, last night he was wrapped up in a blanket, watching Shrek, and eating animal pasta.’ Steve stopped and grimaced. ‘Shit, I hope Natasha doesn’t want to kill me for that.’

‘Who’s Natasha?’

‘Bucky’s assistant, who is apparently so much more than an assistant. From what I gather, she’s like… Joe. From _Princess Diaries_? Protecting the Queen from harm and hurt and stuff? But she’s also his assistant. It’s confusing.’

‘Uh huh, yeah, I’m getting that. So why were you sighing? Because he apologised for you seeing him less than perfect?’

‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘And you’re doing that thing where you’re totally accepting of everything and don’t care? Of course you are. That’s basically your default mode.’

‘Yeah, I guess. I just… I don’t know,’ Steve frowned.

‘Know what I think?’ Sam asked, coming down from the step ladder and putting his box of books on the floor. ‘I think you guys should have a do-over.’

‘A do-over?’

‘Yeah, so you can be Steve, and he can be Bucky, and you’re just normal guys. I think it’s kind of affecting both of you that _he’s_ an actor that _you’re_ kind of obsessed with.’

‘Huh. I get what you mean,’ Steve nodded. ‘I’ll suggest it for when he’s not busy.’

‘Good,’ Sam grinned. ‘Maybe it’ll get you guys onto an even level.’

 

* * *

 

_Twelve hours earlier._

‘What?’ Natasha grumbled, cracking an eye open and peering into the darkness.

‘Nat,’ Bucky’s voice was small, in that way that meant something was up.

‘Bucky,’ Natasha sat up and switched on the light beside her bed, seeing him standing in the doorway to her room, cradling his left arm to his chest. ‘Are you okay?’

Bucky shook his head. ‘You need to call Tony,’ he said, sounding like it was physically paining him to speak. ‘Now.’

‘What’s up?’ she asked, grabbing her phone and unlocking it swiftly.

‘Something’s wrong with it,’ he looked down to his arm and bit his lip. ‘It hurts and I can’t move it.’

‘Shit,’ she muttered, entering her contacts and dialling Tony’s number. There was no answer from Tony, but her call went through to JARVIS, who seemed to be an interactive voicemail for Tony after hours.

_‘Ms. Romanoff, how may I direct your call? Mister Stark is asleep.’_

‘Wake him up, it’s an emergency with Bucky.’

_‘One moment, please.’_

_‘Natasha, what’s up?’_ Tony asked groggily, taking over from his AI.

‘Bucky’s having a problem with his arm. He can’t move it and it hurts, he says,’ Natasha relayed quickly.

_‘On a scale of one to ten?’_

‘How bad?’ she asked Bucky. ‘From one to ten.’

‘A solid eight and a half,’ Bucky grimaced, wincing as he shifted his hand on his arm.

‘Eight and a half.’

_‘Bring him in, I’ll get everything ready,’_ Tony said. _‘Must be a problem with the connection or the last update…’_

‘We’re leaving now,’ Natasha nodded, ending the call and putting on clothes more appropriate than her pyjama shorts and holey tank top. ‘Bucky, do you need anything?’

Bucky shook his head. ‘Got my stuff in a bag before I came to wake you.’

Natasha rolled her eyes as she slipped her feet into a pair of flats and switched off the light, signalling for them to make their way from the apartment. ‘You need to start waking me first, Bucky.’

‘I’m used to this, Nat, it’s not like it matters if I wake you before or after it starts. This way, you get an extra bit of sleep,’ Bucky explained, keeping the same quiet tone. ‘You could probably use it.’

‘I don’t need extra sleep, Bucky. I can sleep when I’m dead,’ she said, grabbing Bucky’s bag from where he had put it on the small table next to his front door. ‘C’mon, Tony’s up already.’

As they left the apartment and got into the elevator, waiting for it to go down to the garage, Bucky winced again and shivered slightly. ‘I hate this.’

‘I know, Bucky,’ Natasha gave him a weak smile and pulled her hair into a small, loose bun, thankful she had forgotten to take her hair tie off her wrist before she went to sleep. ‘It’s not your fault.’

‘Yes, it is. It’s my fault I’m fucked.’

‘Bucky, you can’t blame yourself for everything that’s happened, you know that.’

‘Just you watch me,’ he muttered, stepping into the dim underground parking as the elevator doors opened.

Natasha sighed and followed him, as he stalked towards the black Jeep Tony had insisted on buying him as a housewarming gift. She took the keys from her pocket and opened the door, swinging Bucky’s bag into the back, and letting him settle into the passenger seat before she started the car. ‘You good?’

‘I’ll be better soon,’ he replied, closing his eyes, as she drove them from the garage, and towards Stark tower.

They were both silent the whole ride there, with the exception of Bucky’s occasional hisses of pain as something particularly painful coursed through his arm, and his mutterings as he adjusted his supportive grip on his arm to stop it from pulling at the shoulder so much.

By the time they arrived at Stark Tower, one of the on-guard security personnel was waiting to take Bucky’s car to… wherever Tony kept his cars. They were met in the foyer by Tony, who had a small diagnostics machine in his hand, ready to attach it to Bucky’s metal arm as they went up to the lab where repairs and upkeep were performed to keep the arm in (mostly) pristine condition.

As the elevator began the ascent, Bucky slipped his hoodie off into Natasha’s waiting hands, allowing Tony access to the impressive silver appendage. ‘Nat?’

‘Yeah, Bucky?’ she said, folding the hoodie over her arm.

‘Can you text Steve and tell him that I’m sorry for last night, and that something came up?’ he asked. ‘Tell him I can’t see him for a week or something. This should be sorted by then, right, Tony?’

‘Yeah, definitely,’ Tony nodded. ‘I’ll have J run a scan when we get to the lab, and once we know what’s wrong, I’ll have you fixed, good as new. You’ll be at home tomorrow.’

‘You said that yesterday,’ Bucky pointed out. ‘Nat?’

‘Yeah, I’ll text him, of course.’

‘Okay, thanks,’ Bucky sighed as the elevator stopped at the level for the lab. ‘You should go find a guest room to sleep in, Nat.’

‘Bucky, I’m fine. If you want me to be there –’

‘He’s just gonna knock me out again,’ Bucky shook his head. ‘Go sleep.’

‘Your usual room is made up. All your stuff is still in there,’ Tony said, following Bucky from the lift. ‘We’ll see you in a few hours.’

‘Fine, but please don’t fall asleep while you’re doing… whatever.’

‘I never do,’ Tony replied, giving her a reassuring smile as the doors closed again.

‘Would you like me to take you to the guest wing of Mister Stark’s apartment?’ JARVIS asked softly.

‘Yeah, please,’ Natasha murmured, leaning against the wall as she went a few more floors up, leaving Bucky in Tony’s capable hands.

Tony’s _hopefully_ capable hands.

 

* * *

 

**_Steve:_ ** _i was thinking that when you’re not too busy, we could have a date?_

**_Steve:_ ** _not like go out if u don’t want just like get pizza or something and start fresh like normal people_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _u mean we aren’t normal??????_

**_Steve:_ ** _well idk u aren’t normal by any standards tbh_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _aww :))))_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _so wait u want to talk to me like a normal person??_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i thought u only liked me for my butt????_

**_Steve:_ ** _the butt is 90% of the reason_

**_Steve:_ ** _i figure i gotta get to know the butt’s owner right???_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hmm tru tru_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _when is this mythical date happening??_

**_Steve:_ ** _when you’re not busy i guess?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _oh… i don’t know how long this is gonna take so can i get back to u??_

**_Steve:_ ** _of course :)_

**_Steve:_ ** _but if u blank me pls remember i know where u live_

**_Steve:_** _shiT THAT SOUNDED SO STALKERY PLS DON’T TELL NATASHA_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _LOL_

**_Steve:_ ** _BUCKY IM SERIOUS_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _LOL LOL LOL_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i won’t i promise omg but i can’t believe ur scared of her_

**_Steve:_ ** _she’s scary af!!!!!_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _she’s a puppy :))))))_

**_Steve:_ ** _uh no but date?? yes?? u accept???_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _oh yeah ofc i forgot to say that ye i'll date u even tho i know ur only here for the booty_

**_Steve:_ ** _hell yeah imma guard that booty like a fuckin pirate_

 

* * *

 

‘Steve wants to date me,’ Bucky said in amazement, putting his phone down and gingerly picking up his drink with his left hand.

‘Well, yeah, did you not figure that out?’ Natasha asked, trying not to watch him too closely. Tony had sorted the issue with Bucky’s arm, so it was back to normal – painless and useful as ever – but that didn’t mean they weren’t both still being cautious that something could go wrong again.

‘No, like, he wants to sit and talk with me like a normal person.’

‘Isn’t being normal something you pride yourself on?’

‘When have I _ever_ said that?’

‘I feel like you say it all the time. Anyway, he wants to sit and talk?’

Bucky nodded and gave a dopey smile. ‘He’s so nice.’

‘Yeah, I think you definitely made a good choice with him, Bucky,’ Natasha agreed. ‘He’s a lot more down to earth than a lot of the other people you’ve dated. Remember that last guy?’

‘Ugh, yeah. He was materialistic as fuck. “ _Get me this, James,”_ and, _“I bought you this designer thing with your credit card that I stole from your wallet, James.”_ Why did you even let me date him?’

‘You started off very adamant that he was your one true love.’

‘Well, I was wrong.’

‘Is Steve your one true love, then?’ Natasha asked, pulling the lever on her chair to flick out the recliner.

‘For now, at least,’ Bucky grinned. ‘What should I tell him I was doing?’

‘While you’ve been waiting for your arm to act up again?’ Natasha shrugged and pulled her feet up, crossing them at the ankles and resting her knees against the arm of the chair. ‘You could tell him the truth.’

‘No, I couldn’t. Not yet.’

‘You’re going to have to tell him eventually, and you said he wanted to know _you_ , right?’

‘Apparently.’

‘Well…’ she trailed off. ‘You could lie to him if you want, that’s completely up to you. I don’t think he’ll judge you for the arm.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, he’s a good guy, Bucky. He won’t care about it. He strikes me as the type who would just…’ Natasha gestured vaguely as she searched for the words she wanted. ‘Like he would be honoured you told him, as opposed to hurt that you didn’t immediately tell him.’

‘You think I need to go into detail?’ Bucky asked, pulling his blanket around himself, and toying with the frayed edges.

‘Nah, start small. This is your apartment, so you should feel comfortable here, instead of taking steps to hide part of yourself from being seen.’

‘Mm, I guess.’

‘I’m not saying you have to, Bucky,’ Natasha said quickly, just in case he felt like she was pressuring him to tell Steve about something he was still having difficulties dealing with. ‘Just that it’s an idea. Do it in your own time, obviously, but you can’t keep him in the dark forever.’

‘I’ve managed to keep the whole world in the dark for this long.’

‘Yeah, I know. I’m not saying the world needs to know, but someone who you’re probably going to end up feeling very deeply for _should_.’

‘Hmm,’ Bucky yawned and put his cup gingerly back on the floor. ‘I’ll think about it.’

 

* * *

 

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _so i went on your blog a few minutes ago…_

**_Steve:_ ** _why would you do that?!_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i'm curious :))) ur too nice to me steve_

**_Steve:_ ** _i'm too nice, period_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _awwwwww_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _so i'm not special??_

**_Steve:_ ** _well i wouldn’t say THAT_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _good_

**_Steve:_ ** _sorry did u just want to thank me for being nice like i feel like there’s an ulterior motive here_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _there is_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _another of ur drawings of me posted and i wanted to tell u that it’s v good :)))_

**_Steve:_ ** _…yeah i've missed ur stupid face the past couple of days_

**_Steve:_ ** _sorry am i allowed to call ur face stupid to ur face like it’s in a nice way_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hahahah yes i know and it’s fine_

**_Steve:_ ** _are u okay w it tho?_

**_Steve:_ ** _i couldn’t get that out of my head from when i saw u last_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _ye i look cute in my lil blanket don’t i?_

**_Steve:_ ** _that’s what i thought hahaha_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i'll give u something new to draw in a few days ;)_

**_Steve:_ ** _nearly done w ur mystery project?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _hopefully. things are starting to come together :)_

**_Steve:_ ** _that’s great! let me know when ur free and i'm there :)_

**_Steve:_ ** _i'll bring my sketchpad ;)_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _draw me like one of ur french girls senpai_

**_Steve:_ ** _…_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _notice me senpai_

**_Steve:_ ** _oh god_

 

* * *

 

‘I’ve given it some thought,’ Bucky started, watching Natasha, who was standing at his stove, stirring some onion around as she began to dump a bunch of diced chicken in.

‘Oh?’ she said, shuffling the chicken around evenly and sprinkling salt and crushed garlic on it.

‘I think I’m gonna tell Steve.’

‘About your arm?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Brave.’

‘I thought you said he doesn’t seem like the type to care?’ Bucky frowned, suddenly wondering if it wasn’t actually a good idea, especially not this soon into their… thing. They should probably get around to making whatever _it_ was official.

‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ Natasha replied. Bucky could pretty much _hear_ her roll her eyes, despite that her back was still to him. ‘I meant for _you_. Personally.’

‘Why? Because I’m a delicate flower?’

‘Your words, not mine,’ she snorted. ‘You usually put it off as long as possible.’

‘Yeah, well. Not this time. He’s gonna think I’m weird if I’m wearing a shirt and a glove when we inevitably bang, _or_ that something is up if I wear that weird flesh sleeve thing Tony got for me.’

‘How many times have you actually worn that thing, anyway?’

‘Only once. It takes way too long to get on and blend the top to my skin to make it worthwhile.’

‘God, ain’t that the truth,’ Natasha muttered, flashbacks to the time she had been the one to help Bucky get the thing on. The amount of spirit gum, liquid latex, and various other special FX stuff it had taken could rival the makeup department of _Lord of the Rings_.

‘I would rather look like a pretentious asshole who wears the _statement glove_ everywhere than that thing,’ Bucky shivered. ‘Ugh, the memory still gets to me.’

‘Same,’ Natasha nodded. It was three and a half hours of her life she’d never get back. ‘When are you thinking of telling him?’

‘I think when he comes over next for pizza, I think was what he suggested.’

‘So what, you’ll get the Netflix and chill thing going, and somewhere between the Netflix ending, and the chill beginning, you’re gonna be like, _“Wait, before we make the penises kiss, let me introduce you to my alter ego, Cyber Bucky,”_ and hope he’s just gonna nod and jump into the chill section of the night?’ Natasha turned around and pointed at him with the spatula in her hand. ‘Might need to rethink that so it’s a bit more of a gentle thing, rather than bringing it out and whacking him around the head with it, like a dick pic no one asked for.’

‘What?’

‘I’m just saying –’

‘Did you just compare my cybernetic arm to a fucking _dick pic_?’

‘Technically, yes.’

‘Technically, _what the fuck_ , Natasha?’

Natasha grinned and went back to her cooking. ‘Be slow and gentle with it, Bucky. Don’t thrust it upon him.’

‘Uh huh, okay,’ Bucky sighed and looked towards the pan. ‘How far is it?’

‘The food? About ten or fifteen minutes. Go organise date night with your boyfriend.’

 

* * *

 

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _heeeeey boyfriend ;)_

**_Steve:_ ** _me?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _no my other boyfriend_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _YES u steeb_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _*steve_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _when do u wanna have that pizza and talkies date? :)_

**_Steve:_ ** _are u done w ur mystery project?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _yep when are u free?_

**_Steve:_ ** _idk what day is it_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _thursday i think_

**_Steve:_ ** _friday pizza date then?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _tomorrow friday?_

**_Steve:_ ** _is that okay?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _yep :)_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i'll see u tomorrow at 8??_

**_Steve:_ ** _i'll be there :)_

**_Steve:_ ** _wait ur apartment right??_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _if that’s okay??_

**_Steve:_ ** _definitely_

**_Steve:_ ** _mine looks like total shit rn me and sam have been too busy w stuff to clean :(_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _i get u :( mine would be the same but nat’s been here the whole week helping me out and she hates my mess_

**_Steve:_ ** _nat’s been there the whole week?_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _dw i'll explain_

**_Steve:_ ** _okay :) i gtg but i'll see u tomorrow??_

**_Bucky Barnes (?!?!?!?):_ ** _yep :))) it’s v much a date ;)_

* * *

 

To say Bucky was nervous was a huge understatement. So few people knew about his arm, and most were sworn to secrecy through nondisclosure agreements – but that was just the people he worked with when he was on set, and even then, only people in costuming, the director, and the CGI guy who was sometimes specially employed to make a realistic flesh arm appear in post-production.

The only people who he actively talked to about his arm were Natasha and Tony, and now he was bringing Steve into the mix.

Really, he was still mostly a stranger to Bucky, but… he thought they could be something. Something long-standing, hopefully, though that would eventually mean he might need to publicly come out – which he was also diligently avoiding doing.

Too much was going on in Bucky’s head for him to consider worrying about that day, so most of the time it was on lockdown somewhere way in the back of his mind. Fuck, he hated the public eye. He wished there was a way he could continue acting and just… not do any of the press related stuff.

But that was why he had Natasha, really. To make sure he was okay with the press stuff, and that he didn’t freak out too much. His head was actually more or less a complete clusterfuck, and Natasha was the glue keeping him together.

Now _Steve_ , wonderful, kind Steve, was going to be joining the Bucky’s clusterfuck life.

And he was due to do that in approximately ten minutes time.

Or less, because as Bucky was pacing his living room, really wishing he had a good plan for the night, his intercom buzzed, signalling Steve’s arrival. As Bucky allowed him into the building, knowing he had less than two minutes to gather himself, he ran back over the plan he had constructed with Natasha before she had left a few hours ago.

 

_‘I’ll call you at about nine thirty, and if things are going badly, use the code word, and I’ll swoop in to save you,’ Natasha said, hands solidly on his shoulders, anchoring Bucky before she went._

_‘Okay,’ he nodded._

_‘What’s the code word?’_

_‘Carwash.’_

_‘Good,’ Natasha smiled and squeezed his shoulders lightly, taking care not to apply too much pressure to Bucky’s still-tender left arm. ‘You’ll be fine. You can do this, but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. It’s your choice, Bucky.’_

_‘I know. I can do this,’ Bucky said determinedly._

_‘You can. You’re a strong motherfucker, right?’_

_‘I’m a strong motherfucker.’_

_Natasha grinned and stood on her tiptoes to quickly peck his cheek. ‘Damn right.’_

 

There was a knock on Bucky’s door, bringing him back to the present. He walked quickly over and opened it with a smile. ‘Hey, Steve.’

‘Bucky!’ Steve grinned. ‘I remember you said you don’t drink much, so I brought sweet tea.’

‘That’s great, I love sweet tea,’ Bucky said, stepping back to allow him in. ‘I’m also starving, so do you mind if we order pizza like _right_ now?’

‘Not at all,’ Steve slipped off his shoes and followed Bucky to the kitchen, where he found Bucky staring at a pizza menu he had pulled out from somewhere, and typing something into his phone.

‘Any preference?’ Bucky asked.

‘I’m not fussy, as long as there’s no pineapple.’

‘I agree, a total abomination,’ Bucky nodded. ‘How do you feel about getting a chicken and cranberry and a pepperoni?’

‘I feel like that’s perfect.’

‘Great!’ Bucky tapped something else on his phone, and slipped it into his pocket, before putting the menu back into the drawer it had apparently come from. ‘Sorry, they know me down at my pizza place, so they let me text them.’

‘Not a fan of phone calls?’ Steve guessed.

‘Not really.’

‘Me neither,’ Steve said, holding out the bag of sweet tea. ‘Can I put these in your fridge?’

‘Sure, there should be room. Nat stole all the leftovers from stuff she’s been cooking.’

‘Leftovers are the best part,’ Steve sighed, opening the fridge and beginning to slide the tea randomly into gaps he found, keeping a couple out for them.

‘I know, right?’

‘Can I ask what your little secret project was?’ Steve asked, following Bucky as he headed towards his living room, where he plonked himself down onto the couch.

‘Uh… Personal project,’ Bucky said vaguely, hoping Steve would leave it for now.

‘Aha,’ Steve raised an eyebrow suspiciously. ‘I guess I did say I like mysteries.’

‘Yep,’ Bucky grinned cheerfully, hoping it wasn’t coming across as mildly threatening and weird, because he was still so fucking scared of having to tell Steve about his am. ‘Anyway, I was thinking some Netflix and chill?’

‘Netflix and chill?’ Steve repeated, looking slightly alarmed at the prospect. ‘I mean, yeah, if you want. I was looking forward to pizza and chat, but I think we can talk while we watch a movie, right?’

‘Yeah, absolutely, I didn’t mean Netflix and chill like _chill_ , just… chill.’ _Good job, Bucky._ ‘And pizza.’

‘Sounds good,’ Steve said, adding a nervous laugh for the benefit of _fucking no one._

‘Have you seen _Top Gun_?’

‘Yes, and I would personally like to thank God for the volleyball scene.’

Bucky grinned. ‘Good answer,’ he said, getting up to find the DVD from the selection beside his TV. ‘So you said you wanted to talk?’

‘Yeah, I wanna know more about you. What’s your favourite colour?’

Bucky hummed thoughtfully as he put the DVD in the player and turned on his TV. ‘I used to like red, but I’m a big fan of green. Forest green. You?’

‘Blue, like the sky when the sun is bright, and there’s no clouds anywhere. Cats or dogs?’

‘I love cats, but dogs are just so pure,’ Bucky said, navigating the start menu and getting the movie running. ‘I’m guessing you’re a dog person?’

‘Absolutely. What did we do to deserve dogs? They’re… yeah. Too pure for this world.’

Bucky laughed and settled back into his couch. ‘Tell me about your drawing.’

‘My drawing?’

‘Yeah, like, what drives you? Also, _how_? I have the artistic talent of this couch I’m sitting on, so I’m always just in awe of people who can draw, or paint, or… anything.’

Steve smiled, and his eyes glazed over a little. When he started speaking, he got lost in his evident passion for art. He told Bucky how he started drawing when he was small, because he couldn’t really do much else, and how his mom was his biggest encouragement for following his dreams. He told Bucky how it felt to have a brush or a pencil in his hand, and how great it felt to be able to have a vision and make it come to life. Steve was in love with art, and Bucky was in love with the way he spoke about it.

Steve must’ve gone off on a tangent that had neither of them had realised, because there was another buzz on Bucky’s intercom, and a text from the pizza place saying their delivery guy had arrived.

‘Is that the food?’ Steve asked, noting the way Bucky’s face looked, bathed in the gentle light from his phone screen. He’d have to draw that later.

‘Yeah, I’ll be right back,’ Bucky said, ducking quickly into his room for some cash, as the pizza guy made his way up.

He opened the door before the guy knocked, handing over a hundred-dollar bill with a wink, and a cheery, ‘Keep the change!’

‘Thanks, Bucky,’ the pizza guy – Bucky felt bad he could never remember this guy’s name – said, saluting him briefly, before making his way back to the elevator.

‘Do you want a plate, or are we doing this the old fashioned way?’ Bucky asked, coming back into the living room, pizza boxes in his arms. ‘Just don’t drop anything on the rug, or Nat will kick my ass.’

‘I promise,’ Steve grinned. ‘Do you want me to pay you back for the pizza?’

‘Nah, it’s fine, I asked you here, right?’

‘I can’t remember, actually, but I’m not gonna turn down free food.’

Bucky laughed and opened the boxes. ‘You need to try the chicken and cranberry. It’s for your own good.’

‘I’ll start with that, then,’ Steve said, reaching for a piece and taking a bite. ‘Oh yeah, this is the best I’ve had.’

‘I know right? These guys really know what pizza is about,’ Bucky said, mouth full with his own slice.

They seemed to get a bit lost in pizza and _Top Gun_ , because neither of them really spoke until they had decided they were done with food for the minute. They were both totally fine with that, though – nothing like pizza sauce all over your face to help you bond with your new boyfriend. Which reminded him…

‘We’re boyfriends, right,’ Bucky said, startling Steve with his out of the blue question.

‘I thought so?’ Steve said, taking a sip of his sweet tea.

‘Okay, just checking. We hadn’t actually said anything.’

‘I thought it was just a given,’ Steve shrugged. ‘Sorry, where’s your bathroom? I think I need to wash my hands…’

‘I’ll show you,’ Bucky said, getting up and leading the way to the master bathroom, consciously ignoring that this took them through his bedroom. Whatever. The guest bathroom had all Natasha’s spare crap spread over it, so he’d rather take Steve to his own, than risk messing with her stuff.

They, unfortunately, did the awkward _“you first, no_ you _first, I insist!”_ dance, before Bucky just gave up and left to go wash his hands in the kitchen. Damn, why didn’t they just go there in the first place?

He was halfway through washing his hands when his phone started going off. ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ he muttered, drying them quickly and accepting Natasha’s call.

_‘How’s it going?’_ she asked. _‘Need me to save the day?’_

‘Nope, all quiet on the Western front.’

_‘Really?’_

‘Yep.’

_‘Need me to call again in another hour, just in case?’_

‘Yep,’ Bucky repeated cheerfully. ‘Talk later.’

_‘Alright, good luck!’_ Natasha said, ending the call, and leaving Bucky more nervous than before she had called.

‘Okay, Barnes,’ he muttered to himself, heading back to the living room. ‘You’re a strong motherfucker.’

‘Huh?’ Steve asked, poking his head up from the couch.

‘Nothing, don’t worry,’ Bucky smiled, joining him on the couch. ‘So, uh…’ _Out with it!_

‘Are you okay?’ Steve asked, apparently having noticed the change in Bucky immediately. ‘Oh God, the pizza’s not making you feel weird, is it? Or is it just me?’

‘No, no. The pizza’s fine, you’re fine. It’s…’ Bucky cringed at the words about to come from his mouth. ‘It’s me.’

‘You?’

‘Yeah, uh. There’s something you don’t know about me.’

‘That’s why I said we should talk tonight,’ Steve blinked. ‘Is it something big?’

Bucky nodded, unable to force himself to speak.

‘Okay, would it make you feel better if I said something first?’ When Bucky nodded again, Steve took a deep breath. ‘I have a terrible lower back tattoo.’

‘What?’ Bucky squeaked. That had _not_ been what he was expecting.

‘It’s so embarrassing. I got it when I was… sixteen? I think? I was underage, but I was determined, and they did it anyway… and it sucks.’

‘Can I see it?’

Steve narrowed his eyes. ‘Is what you’re going to tell me going to be worth it?’

‘I mean… I hope so,’ Bucky shrugged, downplaying it significantly.

‘I suppose you can see it, then.’ Steve stood and pulled up the back of his shirt to reveal a dainty pair of wings, outlined and shaded just below the small of his back.

‘Oh my god.’

‘I know, it was such a bad idea,’ Steve groaned, letting his shirt fall from his fingers as he sat back down. ‘Your turn.’

Bucky’s stomach dropped. ‘Right.’ _Like a band aid. Fast. Rip it off. Oh my God,_ don’t _rip it off! Do not rip your arm off!_ ‘What?’

‘Whatever you were going to tell me?’ Steve reminded him. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Not really,’ Bucky said honestly. _You can do this._ ‘Very, _very_ few people know about this, and most have signed a nondisclosure, so if this leaks, I’m getting Nat on to you, okay?’

‘I’m not telling anyone anything, I swear,’ Steve said, making a little cross over his heart. ‘Do you want me to close my eyes or something? Would that make it better?’

‘Not really, because I’m showing you something, too.’

‘Oh.’

Bucky licked slowly along his lower lip, thinking how best he could do this. Thank God Steve was the person he was, and just waited silently for Bucky to gather his thoughts. Eventually, Bucky raised his left hand, waving his gloved fingers in the air. ‘You’ve probably wondered about this, right?’

‘The glove?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Yeah, of course. There’s a lot of speculation on the internet,’ Steve said slowly. ‘My favourite theory is that _you_ were actually the six fingered man to kill Inigo Montoya’s father.’

Bucky barked a short laugh despite himself. ‘Not quite.’ He stared at his hand for a moment, before he grasped the fingertips with his right hand and gently pulled off the glove, letting the silver of his hand twinkle in the light.

‘That definitely shows up my shitty tattoo,’ Steve said, staring at the hand for a few moments, before he flicked his gaze to Bucky’s sad smile. ‘Can I say something?’

‘Mm.’

‘What the fuck?’

Bucky chuckled. ‘It gets worse.’

‘Worse?’ Steve echoed, watching as Bucky stood and dithered for a moment, before he pulled his shirt up and over his head.

_No going back now._ Bucky pulled the sleeve down his left arm, letting Steve see the whole thing. He was thankful it was too dark in the room for Steve to make out the twisted pink and white flesh that marked the edge of the metal embedded in his torso.

‘Holy shit,’ Steve breathed. ‘Is that…’

‘Real?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Yeah,’ Bucky nodded. ‘It’s real.’

‘Can I…’

‘I’d prefer you didn’t touch it, sorry,’ Bucky murmured.

‘That’s okay,’ Steve said, still speaking quietly, reverently, and it reminded Bucky of being in church when he was younger, hearing the quiet conversations the people around him would have. ‘What happened?’

‘I don’t like to talk about it, but Tony Stark designed this replacement, if that’s something else you were going to ask,’ Bucky looked down at the arm and flexed his fingers, watching the response from the plates that made up the outer shell. He sighed and slipped his shirt back on, leaving the glove on the coffee table. ‘Nat thought I should tell you sooner rather than later.’

Steve blinked and shook his head slowly. ‘I would’ve been okay to wait if you didn’t feel comfortable telling me now.’

‘Really?’

‘Of course.’

‘Oh.’

Steve bit his lip and leaned over slightly, so he had to whisper to be heard over _Top Gun_ still playing in the background. ‘Can I tell you something else?’ he said, as the familiar chords to the movie’s love theme started.

‘Yeah?’

‘I think it’s beautiful.’

‘Really?’ Bucky asked.

‘Really, really,’ Steve nodded, moving slightly closer to Bucky, close enough for him to make a move if he wanted.

Oh God, Bucky wanted to.

So he did, the perfectly timed words in the movie echoing his thoughts exactly.

_Take my breath away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so now i'm turning my attentions to my fic for the big bang coming up, so it might take a little while to update this. (then again, last time i was working on a fic for a bang and doing a WIP as well, i ended up doing more on the WIP, so we'll see haha.)

**Author's Note:**

> [i'm on tumblr!](http://uhtredthepagan.tumblr.com/) come see me if u want :))))


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